Live in Freedom, Live in Love

My kids live in freedom.  They learn what, and when, and how they want.  I don’t decide what “needs” to be learned, now, by a certain age, or by adulthood.  I respect my children’s autonomy the same way I respect my husband’s, or that or my friends.  My children don’t have bedtimes, or limits on television or video games, and they can eat whatever they want, whenever they want, in whatever amounts they want.  My teenagers don’t have curfews. I don’t know how to spell it out any more plainly--I am not in control of my children.  

This is one aspect of radical unschooling--complete freedom, both over one’s education AND over one’s own body and life choices.  But that can look awfully cold, if that is the only side of unschooling you see.  Freedom?  You mean you just abandon your kids?

So, on the flip side, my children also live in love.  Their passions and interests are supported wholly and enthusiastically by myself, my husband, and their father. I find articles, and classes, and books and programs and trips that I think would interest them, and I joyfully give them the information, without any expectations on my part as to whether it will be used.  They are accepted for who they are at any moment in their lives, exactly as they are.  My kids sleep with us until they are ready to move on, nurse as long as they wish to, and are able to choose the foods they want at every meal.  I help my kids when they need help, and they, in turn, help me when they see I need help.  I enjoy sharing books, or movies, or games, or tv shows with my kids--watching, discussing, imagining alternate scenarios--even into their adulthoods.  We laugh and cuddle and chat and discuss....I listen and handhold and support and love.

I do not control my children.  I love my children.